In Western culture we have this idea that there is a fixed path to life: you’re born, you finish school, you should preferably complete a qualification, get a job and build a career, get married, have children, retire, move to a care unit and die. Sorry, that was morbid.

Sometimes we realise how silly this is and we say that we can do this in any order we like and even, maybe, not do some of this at all. We are enlightened, we are free spirits, we rebel against the structures forced on us. Then you look back and you pretty much walked the walk anyway.

Now, nobody told me that if you are one of the lucky few that know your purpose in life, you also need to know that this can shift. This can change. You may also one morning on 28 July 2020 wake up and realise that “your life purpose” as you understood it was more of a framework for what can happen inside it and not at all what you thought it was…for instance.

I was 16 when I knew what I was born to do. I understood it very clearly. Funny thing is this THING can be done in any and all places, while having kids or not, having a job or not, having a corporate career or not… so why did I equate this purpose to having a successful career at all? Something in me knows it has more to do with my egoic needs and nothing to do with understanding the connectedness I got a glimpse of all those years back.

Now, sitting in the living room, in the middle of a pandemic that shifted everything around, hubby and I are talking about a shared vision to change where we add value. Does it have something to do with being over 40? Maybe. Does it have something to do with finally understanding how we want to live? Maybe. Is it tossing this young family into lockdown just long enough for us to become openly honest about who we are and what we want and realising we actually felt the same and wanted the same thing all along? Yes my Love.

I cannot in good conscience continue in this insanity: doing a job I know I have shifted out of alignment with, ignoring the forming idea that now clearly has been forming in his head too. I haven’t spoken to him before yesterday and yet we both were echoing the same thing. Want to know how I know God made us a team? THIS IS HOW!

Every cell in my body is simultaneously excited and on edge. I have no idea how this will happen, but it will. The wheels have started turning and from experience there is no stopping it. I do know that the madness of a life that does not make sense anymore has birthed a new child to foster and nurture. It sits right. It feels blue and green and round…laugh if you like. Feelings have dimension in my mind. What do they look like in yours?

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